Figuring Out Life

1 month left until I return to work. 1 month until I can no longer be with my baby boy 24/7. In ways I am joyful that I will be back to work, having a daily purpose but in other ways I am sad.

I one day dreamed that I would become as stay at home mother. There is no doubt that I could do it. I would just need to find other things to do all day. I am an introvert but even an introvert needs to get out and about. I would need a routine, which is doable. But I also love going to work 5 days a week! All my friends are at work so I can do my job and be sociable. I can be a part of the world instead of becoming a hermit! And the same with my children! I would rather my child and future children be at a daycare/babysitter that has other children around. Having other children around will help with their social skills and to be outgoing with other people.

So what shall I do to prepare to go back to work? I already have a pumping schedule down to where I will only have to pump once while at work. I have a babysitter already lined up for during the week, my family will watch him on the weekends I work. But the problems that I foresee are making dinner, doing laundry, cleaning house, and keeping up on the dishes.

We have gotten a dishwasher so some, not all, dishes will be able to be done there. But if I want to keep my kitchen in order I need to wash what little dishes I make in the evening. Shouldn’t be too hard. Keeping up on laundry shouldn’t be too hard. But I also hate hanging and folding laundry, even if it is easy. Every time I let my clean laundry pile up I have tons of laundry to hang and fold. And every time I wonder why I wait until then to do it because it is easy and goes by so quickly. Growing up my mother would make us morning routine lists and we would have to make sure everything was checked off and done before school. If it wasn’t done there would be a punishment. So I am going to make daily to do lists to keep up on laundry and cleaning house. So then I’m not doing so many chores on one given day of the week. I am doing 1 or 2 chores daily.

As for making dinner. I plan on making monthly meal plans where I can make and freeze them ahead of time. From lasagnas, enchiladas, chili, soups, and smoothies. I love to cook! But if I could have just part of the cooking done like marinated meat or all the ingredients in a bag that need thrown in the crock pot or a tin pan that just needs put in the oven! Anything will help me be the wife I know I can be and the mother I want to be! I want to take care of my home as well as enjoy my family!

It’s going to take some work but I am hoping to succeed!

 

Trapped

I thought I was going to enjoy having 3 months off of work. No loud kitchen, annoying co-workers, aching feet and back, managers who treat you like an object rather than a person, or people taking offense to everything you say whether you meant it that way or not. But in the grand scheme of things I loved my job, even with all of its flaws. For one instance my job gave me routine. I woke up at 4:30 am every morning, got coffee, got to work 30 minutes early, worked my eight hours and went home to make dinner and spend time with my husband. Having a baby and being on maternity leave makes me feel imprisoned in my own home. Most people are working all morning and afternoon so there is no one to visit or do something with and when there is you are usually too tired to get yourself and the baby ready to leave the house. I am all about routine and planning ahead so spontaneous plans now as a mother usually never work out. And with it being the middle of winter in Ohio, you never know what the weather will be that day, you can’t really just go to a park or hang out outside! So here I sit, missing my co-workers, missing my kitchen department but also never wanting to leave my sweet baby boy. A mother’s emotions are never clear, we just have to work through them one tear at a time!

 

Sleep Update!

Last night was a total SUCCESS! I couldn’t believe it! Around 1 am we had a rough spot but the only problem was he had to poop! When I laid him down he stayed down. Normally, he would have to go down with his soother and within the next 10-20 minutes he would be crying again. I would have to get up and rock him for at least an hour because all he would want is to lay on me or be near me. Last night he would start grunting or slight crying and would go right back asleep! It literally felt like a parenting win! I know not all nights will be like that one but it was great to sleep in between feedings! I honestly think it is because I put my scent in the crib with him and but a rolled up towel next to him. The scent from my shirt let him know I was near and the towel made him feel snuggled and secure! If there are any parents out there struggling to get their newborn to sleep at night in their own bed I definitely recommend this “technique”! Hopefully tonight will go just as smoothly as last night!

 

Sleep Routine

My husband works 3rd shift at a car parts manufacturer. He was allowed paternity leave for 3 weeks with no pay. He took a week off before Titus entered this world just in case he decided to come early. He went back to work this past Monday evening and I was so nervous. Would I be strong enough to take care of a child at night by myself and get enough sleep? Surprisingly it hasn’t been all bad. The only thing is Titus has become a co-sleeper. All he wants to do is sleep next to me or lay on top of me! While this is all wonderful and I don’t ever want it to stop, it has to. If he doesn’t learn to sleep by himself, in his bed he want ever want to do it when he grows up. I don’t know about all of the other mom’s in the world but I already don’t like sharing a bed with my husband! So the adventure begins tonight wear we keep Titus in bed. Whether I am up all night rocking him back to sleep or just putting the soother back into his mouth, he is staying in bed!

Tonight is night 1. Things are going smoothly so far. I don’t want to get my hopes up but the routine that we have started is working well. The routine was given to me by my mother. She told me it was what we would do with my little brother. It starts with giving him a bath about an hour or more before his last feeding before bedtime. Tonight I bathed him around 6:45-7 pm. After bathing and putting lotion on him I went and got his bottle ready so it could be ready when I needed it. We sat down in the glider in his bedroom and I read him a bedtime story to try and keep him awake. My mother says if you bath him and try to keep him awake until his feeding he will go to bed easier. After reading a story we try to have some “eye” time and just talk to each other. Tomorrow night I may incorporate tummy time. He barely could stay awake during the bedtime story tonight so we didn’t make it to the time I want to but it is a work in progress! After “eye” time I fed him a warm bottle, gave him his soother after he was finished and burped, and rocked him to sleep. Holding my baby boy to sleep is probably the best thing in the world. He is calm and motionless! Snuggled up against you, you are the only person he wants! I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything!

Now, Titus has been having trouble sleeping on his back. My mother said some babies just aren’t back sleepers. She said she bought the foam triangles for my brother to sleep on his side, he wasn’t a back sleeper either, but all he wanted to do was sleep on his belly. I am not buying those foam triangles when all you need is a rolled up bath towel! And I also had the thought that if he is more comfortable sleeping with me maybe if I put the shirt I wore that day in bed with him he would sleep better. Why, you ask? My scent is all over that shirt from the whole day! If he smells my scent he will be more comfortable sleeping! So when I laid him into bed I removed the heating pad, I warm his bed with a heating pad before feeding him so the bed won’t be cold, I positioned his back up against the towel and laid my shirt close enough that he could smell it but not suffocate if he rolled onto his front!

I sat in my living room waiting patiently to hear his cry after 10 minutes, like I normally do, but I heard nothing! He was sleeping! I continued to watch television and I heard him grunting a little bit after a while. I asked my husband to go check on him and make sure he didn’t roll onto his front and was suffocating in my shirt. He indeed had rolled onto his front and my husband didn’t like how much of his face was into my shirt so he rolled him back! He didn’t know that I was laying him on his side to sleep so he rolled him on his back. He continued sleeping! Maybe it’s the smell of my shirt along with having something laying right up against him that soothes him to sleep! I don’t know and I don’t care! He is sleeping in his bed!

Will this last all night? Will it last forever? Only time will tell if this all works, I am hoping it does! Because in the end mommas need to take care of themselves so they can take care of their families! I will try to update tomorrow about how the night went! Pray everything works out for me!