I guess I should start off where I left off. My precious baby boy! He is now 9 months going on 10 months old! Where has the time gone? My once 8 pound little baby is now a SOLID 25-26 pounds! I definitely get a work out holding him! He is still the center of my world and I fall in love with him over and over again! I get up for work, drop him at the babysitters, get to work and by the first break at 9 a.m. I am already missing him dearly! He now cries when I hand him over which breaks my heart every time even though I know he will stop in 2 minutes!
He has grown so fast physically but also mentally! He crawls (FAST!), sits up, stands up, sits down, making all kinds of noises and laughter, eating table food, and is on the verge of walking and talking! Where did he go? He used to fit in my cradled arms and just stare up at me with his deep brown little eyes! You never actually know what a mother is talking about when they say flies by until you experience it! He has taught me patience on so many levels! It all started when we were trying to get pregnant and God said wait! As always I was saddened and every month I was distraught after another negative pregnancy test! And now as a parent I am more laid back, let him try to figure it out first kind of mom. The Nicole everyone knew and still knows would never be like this! I am still the worrier in all aspects of life, just not as much with Titus! I don’t know what it is but I think I just want him to learn to be independent and strong! To be a leader in life! My sister once told me that if you pray for patience then God WILL make you wait! (She said “so don’t ever pray for patience!” Haha) But in a way I am glad he taught me wait and to have patience! If I hadn’t I would not have gotten this miracle I now love!
I could not have asked for a better baby! He is still laid back, quiet until he knows you, and a well behaved baby! Yes he has his moments but he is different than other babies! He is good in public and at restaurants! He isn’t really as picky eater and he loves to drink water! He plays with his toys alone and is happy for it! He isn’t definitely my introverted child but still a socialite! Just like his momma, he can be social but he needs his time to recharge! He still sleeps in his crib and gladly so! But I tell him all the time that I can’t wait to have sleepovers with him in momma’s bed!
There are some things that I have definitely done different and against doctor’s advice! We bought a house (blog to come!) and it was a very stressful time in our lives trying to get things fixed so we could move in and finally have a home! Amongst the stress my milk dried up and I soon after ran out of my frozen stash! I couldn’t afford to be feeding him formula all time so I gave him cow’s milk with karo and water right away! I know I know, baby shouldn’t have cow’s milk until 1 year old. But it is what my grandma gave mom and it is what my mom gave my brother because they wouldn’t take formula! So why not try it? The worst that could happen is he could have a reaction and I would have a panic attack and go to the hospital. But if I never try it I won’t even know. Lo and behold he is perfectly fine. He just has to take a multi vitamin every day that he gladly takes! I also feed my child whatever I want! Again, if he doesn’t try it how will I know if it affects him? So I have given him strawberries, chocolate, etc. In low proportions of course! But I am not going to hide my child from the world!
I officially started cloth diapering him full time in April! Everything is still going fantastically and I seem to be showing more and more people that it is an easy thing to do! And showing them that is definitely cheaper in the end! And not to mention that is healthier for the environment and easy to do all at the same time!
Enough of my child for now, even though I could talk about him for weeks!
“A baby fills a place in your heart you never knew was empty!”
There are moments in my day where I look around my little apartment and realize how much there is to do! The dining room/desk area has needed organized for a while now, the dishes need clean, laundry needs done, the floors need vacuumed, and a whole lot of others chores need done! But what is it I do with my whole day? I hold my baby! Do I put him down time to time to do a little bit of the chores? Yes! Are the chores my number one priority? No. I spent the first week of my little boy’s life stressing and worrying! I told myself that I needed to enjoy my child as long as I could because they will never be this little again! Soon he won’t want me to cuddle him all the time, he won’t want me kissing all over him, and he will be wanting to crawl and play all the time! So I choose to have a messy house because I choose to lay my child in my arms or on my chest to sleep. I choose to stare at his precious little face looking up at me! There is no other place I would rather be than sitting in a chair looking at my little boy!
At night I bath him, read him a bedtime story, feed him, and then rock him to sleep. Lately I have been catching myself prematurely laying him down in his crib too soon! Which means I am going to and from his bedroom trying to calm him with his soother and go back to sleep. In the end I usually have to pick him back up and rock him longer to go back to sleep. I would much rather be out in my chair watching television, playing games on my phone, or even cleaning up the house rather than rocking him so long to sleep. Sometimes it takes me 40 minutes to rock him to sleep. I realized I need to enjoy this time with him! He is happy in my arms, smelling my skin and falling asleep to the sound of rain! Which means I should be soaking in the love and bond that we are sharing! I don’t always realize it but my son is becoming more and more like a momma’s boy! Sometimes he just wants me! Me to hold him, me to look at, or even just me to feed him in the mornings instead of daddy! He isn’t always going to want to admit that he is a momma’s boy so I want to soak it in! I need to LIVE IN THE MOMENT! Be his one and only! Teach him love and kindness!
Just a little advice to new or even advanced mom’s.
Live in the moment!
The chores will still be there tomorrow!
Warning! Feelings are about to be shared! These are my opinions and in way do I believe that everyone should always take my side! But if I don’t put my feelings in writing I bottle them up and explode on someone! So here it goes.
Today, as I was feeding Titus, I was scrolling through a mom group on Facebook. One of the mother’s made a post on the group wanting to know how to get silly putty out of her carpets. Saying that it was her child that did it. I understand, I would be really annoyed and upset as well! But it was the fact that she didn’t call her child by their name or even just saying that it was her child, she called them “demon spawn”! I’m sorry, I get that kids are hellions. At age 14 both sets of my parents had another child each! Then 2 years later 1 set of parents had another child. That is 3 siblings under the age of 2 by the time I was 16. I have helped raise them like I was their own mother! I know how children can be! But in no way would I call them a “demon spawn” verbally or on a website where anyone can read it! This is not the first time I have seen another mother call their child something that is barbaric in my eyes! I am a new parent so I may sound naïve, but having children has always been a dream of mine! When I was younger, when they would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up I would answer with a mom! I have always loved babies and children! Now that I have my own bundle of joy my heart feels like it may explode every time I look at him. Every time I sing “You Are My Sunshine” to him I start crying from happiness! Will he always be this wonderful baby? No! But I still can never imagine call them such names! It just seems like, dare I say, verbal abuse! Children hang on your every word! Whether you say it, write it, or type it! Watch what you say, soon they will be repeating what you say, becoming who you are and you can’t punish them for it!
Monkey see, monkey do!
My husband works 3rd shift at a car parts manufacturer. He was allowed paternity leave for 3 weeks with no pay. He took a week off before Titus entered this world just in case he decided to come early. He went back to work this past Monday evening and I was so nervous. Would I be strong enough to take care of a child at night by myself and get enough sleep? Surprisingly it hasn’t been all bad. The only thing is Titus has become a co-sleeper. All he wants to do is sleep next to me or lay on top of me! While this is all wonderful and I don’t ever want it to stop, it has to. If he doesn’t learn to sleep by himself, in his bed he want ever want to do it when he grows up. I don’t know about all of the other mom’s in the world but I already don’t like sharing a bed with my husband! So the adventure begins tonight wear we keep Titus in bed. Whether I am up all night rocking him back to sleep or just putting the soother back into his mouth, he is staying in bed!
Tonight is night 1. Things are going smoothly so far. I don’t want to get my hopes up but the routine that we have started is working well. The routine was given to me by my mother. She told me it was what we would do with my little brother. It starts with giving him a bath about an hour or more before his last feeding before bedtime. Tonight I bathed him around 6:45-7 pm. After bathing and putting lotion on him I went and got his bottle ready so it could be ready when I needed it. We sat down in the glider in his bedroom and I read him a bedtime story to try and keep him awake. My mother says if you bath him and try to keep him awake until his feeding he will go to bed easier. After reading a story we try to have some “eye” time and just talk to each other. Tomorrow night I may incorporate tummy time. He barely could stay awake during the bedtime story tonight so we didn’t make it to the time I want to but it is a work in progress! After “eye” time I fed him a warm bottle, gave him his soother after he was finished and burped, and rocked him to sleep. Holding my baby boy to sleep is probably the best thing in the world. He is calm and motionless! Snuggled up against you, you are the only person he wants! I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything!
Now, Titus has been having trouble sleeping on his back. My mother said some babies just aren’t back sleepers. She said she bought the foam triangles for my brother to sleep on his side, he wasn’t a back sleeper either, but all he wanted to do was sleep on his belly. I am not buying those foam triangles when all you need is a rolled up bath towel! And I also had the thought that if he is more comfortable sleeping with me maybe if I put the shirt I wore that day in bed with him he would sleep better. Why, you ask? My scent is all over that shirt from the whole day! If he smells my scent he will be more comfortable sleeping! So when I laid him into bed I removed the heating pad, I warm his bed with a heating pad before feeding him so the bed won’t be cold, I positioned his back up against the towel and laid my shirt close enough that he could smell it but not suffocate if he rolled onto his front!
I sat in my living room waiting patiently to hear his cry after 10 minutes, like I normally do, but I heard nothing! He was sleeping! I continued to watch television and I heard him grunting a little bit after a while. I asked my husband to go check on him and make sure he didn’t roll onto his front and was suffocating in my shirt. He indeed had rolled onto his front and my husband didn’t like how much of his face was into my shirt so he rolled him back! He didn’t know that I was laying him on his side to sleep so he rolled him on his back. He continued sleeping! Maybe it’s the smell of my shirt along with having something laying right up against him that soothes him to sleep! I don’t know and I don’t care! He is sleeping in his bed!
Will this last all night? Will it last forever? Only time will tell if this all works, I am hoping it does! Because in the end mommas need to take care of themselves so they can take care of their families! I will try to update tomorrow about how the night went! Pray everything works out for me!
It’s been 13 days since this beautiful miracle entered our lives! The journey was long and emotionally rough sometimes but totally worth it in the end.
The day was December 27, 2016 when I went into my routine appointment to get checked. It also happened to be my due date. The doctor checked me and told me I was still only 1 cm dilated. She ordered an ultrasound to check if the baby was going to be 9 or 10 pounds. Turns out he was around 7 pounds 12 ounces and the technician said there was very little amniotic fluid! He explained this to the doctor and the doctor ordered a stress test. If the baby was under any stress we were going to the hospital right away to be induced and monitored. If not, we were going home to finish getting the house ready, finish packing, and eat dinner before coming back at 7 pm.
At 7 pm I was induced. The contractions started and I lasted 7 hours before the contractions were coming very often but were short lived. I couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to enjoy my labor with him as much as possible. I chose to get the epidural which was terrifying and hilarious to me all at the same time. I couldn’t move or feel anything below my waist which I always found hilarious because every time they would move me or lift my leg I couldn’t feel it but I saw them moving it!
On December 28, 2016, at 6:08 pm, Titus James Allen Vukich decided to grace us with his presence! I was in labor for 23 hours but only ended up pushing for 24 minutes. Some of that time even included waiting for the doctor to arrive. It all happened so fast that when he came out all I saw and thought of was him. He was so beautiful and I was so relieved that I finally got to see hid tiny little face. He was 7 pounds 13 ounces and 18 inches long. I didn’t even hear the doctor say that he swallowed extra fluid, or know that Josh cut the umbilical cord, or that the doctor accidentally nicked the umbilical cord after and sent blood all over the floor. My eyes were only set on him!
Childbirth is terrifying and anxiety filled. But when it is actually happening you aren’t thinking about it. You are just doing it and it is a beautiful moment. I cried for hours just looking at him and thinking about how beautiful he is. (Yes, boys can be beautiful!) All the anxiety was worth it! Don’t be afraid to feel and express your emotions! It just shows how much you already love your child!