Figuring Out Life

1 month left until I return to work. 1 month until I can no longer be with my baby boy 24/7. In ways I am joyful that I will be back to work, having a daily purpose but in other ways I am sad.

I one day dreamed that I would become as stay at home mother. There is no doubt that I could do it. I would just need to find other things to do all day. I am an introvert but even an introvert needs to get out and about. I would need a routine, which is doable. But I also love going to work 5 days a week! All my friends are at work so I can do my job and be sociable. I can be a part of the world instead of becoming a hermit! And the same with my children! I would rather my child and future children be at a daycare/babysitter that has other children around. Having other children around will help with their social skills and to be outgoing with other people.

So what shall I do to prepare to go back to work? I already have a pumping schedule down to where I will only have to pump once while at work. I have a babysitter already lined up for during the week, my family will watch him on the weekends I work. But the problems that I foresee are making dinner, doing laundry, cleaning house, and keeping up on the dishes.

We have gotten a dishwasher so some, not all, dishes will be able to be done there. But if I want to keep my kitchen in order I need to wash what little dishes I make in the evening. Shouldn’t be too hard. Keeping up on laundry shouldn’t be too hard. But I also hate hanging and folding laundry, even if it is easy. Every time I let my clean laundry pile up I have tons of laundry to hang and fold. And every time I wonder why I wait until then to do it because it is easy and goes by so quickly. Growing up my mother would make us morning routine lists and we would have to make sure everything was checked off and done before school. If it wasn’t done there would be a punishment. So I am going to make daily to do lists to keep up on laundry and cleaning house. So then I’m not doing so many chores on one given day of the week. I am doing 1 or 2 chores daily.

As for making dinner. I plan on making monthly meal plans where I can make and freeze them ahead of time. From lasagnas, enchiladas, chili, soups, and smoothies. I love to cook! But if I could have just part of the cooking done like marinated meat or all the ingredients in a bag that need thrown in the crock pot or a tin pan that just needs put in the oven! Anything will help me be the wife I know I can be and the mother I want to be! I want to take care of my home as well as enjoy my family!

It’s going to take some work but I am hoping to succeed!

 

It Could Be Worse…

I sat rocking my baby tonight and couldn’t help but cry. It seems that if something is going well for me it never lasts long. For the past few days it seems it take hours for Titus to fall asleep! I stay up rocking, swaying, walking, shushing, and proclaiming my love for him and nothing really seems to work until I try them all! I feel defeated and my husband works 3rd shift so he needs his sleep. Right now everything seems to be put on me! I know I can do it but when I go back to work I won’t be able too! It seems that it takes some men longer to become and realize that it’s time to be a parent!

But I sit here now and realize it could always be worse. Titus could never end up falling sleep at night and sleep all day, he could be very sick, he could cry ALL the time, or he could be vomiting all the time! The point is that we can struggle through life but if we hand it all to God He will take care of it! He will take care of us! He will take care of me! He will take care of you! When you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, just remember, it could always get worse!