It is day 3 of my maternity leave and I still have no energy. This baby is sucking the life out of me. I just wish he would arrive sooner rather than later! The house is clean, the laundry is done, and the only thing left to do it pack a hospital bag! Having a child around the holidays was definitely not in our plan but it was definitely in God’s plan! Things seem so hectic trying to see everyone and concentrate on advancing labor. I had a doctor’s appointment on Monday the 12th and I was only 1 cm dilated. I have another appointment on the 19th. If he has not progressed to where they want him to be we will be talking induction date! It all just seems so real now!
Titus James Allen Vukich. That is going to be my baby boy’s name! It’s uncommon but common enough for me! He is already loved so much he will not know what to do with himself when he arrives! He has been moving quite a lot these past few days and pushing much harder against my stomach and I love the feeling! People always ask if it hurts or if he is up in my ribs, no, I have had the best pregnancy a girl could ask for. I didn’t get morning sickness or swelling ankles. I quite literally felt like I did before I got pregnant, except there was something that moved inside my abdomen every once and a while. I fear losing this bond I have with him after he is born! There will be a new bond but I won’t be carrying him around with me 24/7 to work, appointments, or to bed every night. He will be near me but he won’t be a part of me and that saddens me. But to be able to actually hold him for the first time puts be right back into getting the ball rolling!
You never pay attention to how messy your home is until you have your first child! The nesting you go through is a real sickness! I call it a sickness because you are thinking about it all day and there are just some days that you don’t have the energy to do anything. Especially when you work all day in the kitchen, come home, shower, and cook dinner all you want to do is sit down and relax! And that is exactly what you have to do sometimes. I used to make lists of chores that needed done and get them done in one day. Now, I make lists and I have to get 2 items done by a certain time then I can rest. You can’t over exhaust yourself or you won’t get anything accomplished! It’s hard dealing with the reality that you have to slow down! But in the end the cleaning and the preparing are not worth it! All that matters is that little baby who relies completely on you for life and food!
In the end I pray to God that he watches over my family and leads us in the direction he has already chosen for us! He already knows the path and we have to completely rely on him, just like a baby to their mother!